I've just been told that all my tests and final surgery dates have now been set.
First, my surgery has been re-scheduled from July 3 to July 2. It'll be at UCLA and I'll probably be there 3-4 nights.
Thursday, June 21, I'll undergo some neurological testing at UCLA to determine what effect - if any - the tumor is having on my speech and other mental functions. I'll be surprised if they find anything - I feel completely fine!
Tuesday, June 26, I'll have a pre-operative exam with my own doctor.
Wednesday, June 27, I'll go back to UCLA for the Functional MRI (the brain-mapping exercise) and a pre-operative consultation with the anesthesiologist.
Thursday, June 28, back to UCLA one more time for a regular MRI.
You'll notice "final" is in quotes in the title of this entry. That's because while the schedule is pretty much set, there is always the possibility that some things could shift around.
As always, I crave your prayers for the success of these tests - that the results will be positive, and that they will be 100% accurate, so as to ensure the best possible outcome of the surgery.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Significant Faith - Part 2
We talked yesterday about how significant faith - a faith that can not only withstand adversity, but actually grow through it - is grounded in knowledge. But simply knowing some facts is not enough to produce significant faith. We must DO something with those facts. The first thing we need to do is decide if we assent to or agree with them. This can be a big decision, and it is at this point where so many turn away.
Assent
The Apostle John, near the end of his Gospel, wrote:
"These have been written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ (or the Messiah), the Son of God; and that believing you may have life in His name" (John 20:31).
John claims to have written historical facts about Jesus of Nazareth in the first Century AD. His purpose in doing so is to produce faith - not blind faith or even passionate wishful thinking, but a fact-based faith of significance. He calls his readers not only to understand what he has written, but to assent to its truth. It is not my intent here to defend the historical accuracy of John's Gospel - others have done so far better than I can. If you're interested, you can read Craig Blomberg's The Historical Reliability of the Gospels, and The Historical Reliability of John's Gospel, and the fantastic new book by Richard Bauckham, Jesus and the Eyewitnesses.
"Assent" implies a decision on our part. Ultimately, assent is an act of the will - as is the opposite, rejection. While believers are sometimes accused of turning off their minds and leaving them at the doors of their houses of worship (and some do!), unbelivers are usually open to the same criticism when they refuse to enter a house of worship in the first place.
Sometimes this willful rejection is simply a matter of failing to examine the evidence for faith critically. Faith in God is not a 'front-burner' issue for most people. The reasons for this attitude are varied, but are always based in an innate desire for people to be in charge of their own lives. If you think you are in control and value that control, it is easy to pass over evidence that there is a God who might want you to change some of your ways. Why pursue something that might lead to uncomfortable conclusions? It doesn't matter that God tells us in the Bible that He intends His sovereignty over our lives for our good (Deuteronomy 10:13); that is a fact left unconsidered.
Another type of willful rejection can be demonstrated by something I wrote in yesterday's entry. Some physicists (by no means all) who understand the mathematics necessitating "The Singularity" reject it - not on the basis of science, but due to philosophical or (anti-) religious considerations. In this case, rejection includes a thorough examination of the facts. But a strong bias against those facts leads to a lack of assent to their truth. Note, though, that this bias is not based on facts - it is based on one's unwillingness to follow where those facts lead.
The reasons for such considered rejection are ultimately the same as less-considered rejection: a willful decision of denial.
In one of the most profound passages in all of the New Testament, the Apostle Paul writes:
"[Unbelievers] suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse" (Romans 1:18-20).
If what Paul wrote is true, God has provided ample evidence of His existence - He has made it possible to obtain enough knowledge to warrant significant faith. But Paul says that unbelievers "suppress" this truth. The word "suppress" means to actively push something down. It requires a certain effort - even if faith in God is a "back-burner" issue.
Significant faith requires not only knowledge, but an active assent or agreement that that knowledge is true. The Bible says that God will reward those who seek Him (Hebrews 11:6) and that He is not far from any of us (Acts 17:27). I know in my own experience, coming to significant faith was a process that took place over several months. But the direct cause was reading the Bible with the knowledge that it could just possibly be true. I had done enough investigation to satisfy myself on that point. But, in the end, it was God's active pursuit of me as I was pursuing Him that opened my heart to assent to the truth the Bible contained.
So, I cannot take any credit for my faith. God provided the evidence through His creation of His existence. God provided the historical evidence necessary to conclude that the Bible was reasonably accurate. And it was God's Spirit that whispered and prodded and eventually overwhelmed my natural rejection throughout the process.
If you'd like to explore whether significant faith in the Creator God of the universe is possible, I invite you to begin your investigation today. Make it a 'front-burner' issue. God will reward your efforts, as He did mine.
But this will just be a start. Significant faith entails not only knowledge and assent, it also includes trust and committment. We'll explore those aspects of faith in future blog entries.
Assent
The Apostle John, near the end of his Gospel, wrote:
"These have been written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ (or the Messiah), the Son of God; and that believing you may have life in His name" (John 20:31).
John claims to have written historical facts about Jesus of Nazareth in the first Century AD. His purpose in doing so is to produce faith - not blind faith or even passionate wishful thinking, but a fact-based faith of significance. He calls his readers not only to understand what he has written, but to assent to its truth. It is not my intent here to defend the historical accuracy of John's Gospel - others have done so far better than I can. If you're interested, you can read Craig Blomberg's The Historical Reliability of the Gospels, and The Historical Reliability of John's Gospel, and the fantastic new book by Richard Bauckham, Jesus and the Eyewitnesses.
"Assent" implies a decision on our part. Ultimately, assent is an act of the will - as is the opposite, rejection. While believers are sometimes accused of turning off their minds and leaving them at the doors of their houses of worship (and some do!), unbelivers are usually open to the same criticism when they refuse to enter a house of worship in the first place.
Sometimes this willful rejection is simply a matter of failing to examine the evidence for faith critically. Faith in God is not a 'front-burner' issue for most people. The reasons for this attitude are varied, but are always based in an innate desire for people to be in charge of their own lives. If you think you are in control and value that control, it is easy to pass over evidence that there is a God who might want you to change some of your ways. Why pursue something that might lead to uncomfortable conclusions? It doesn't matter that God tells us in the Bible that He intends His sovereignty over our lives for our good (Deuteronomy 10:13); that is a fact left unconsidered.
Another type of willful rejection can be demonstrated by something I wrote in yesterday's entry. Some physicists (by no means all) who understand the mathematics necessitating "The Singularity" reject it - not on the basis of science, but due to philosophical or (anti-) religious considerations. In this case, rejection includes a thorough examination of the facts. But a strong bias against those facts leads to a lack of assent to their truth. Note, though, that this bias is not based on facts - it is based on one's unwillingness to follow where those facts lead.
The reasons for such considered rejection are ultimately the same as less-considered rejection: a willful decision of denial.
In one of the most profound passages in all of the New Testament, the Apostle Paul writes:
"[Unbelievers] suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse" (Romans 1:18-20).
If what Paul wrote is true, God has provided ample evidence of His existence - He has made it possible to obtain enough knowledge to warrant significant faith. But Paul says that unbelievers "suppress" this truth. The word "suppress" means to actively push something down. It requires a certain effort - even if faith in God is a "back-burner" issue.
Significant faith requires not only knowledge, but an active assent or agreement that that knowledge is true. The Bible says that God will reward those who seek Him (Hebrews 11:6) and that He is not far from any of us (Acts 17:27). I know in my own experience, coming to significant faith was a process that took place over several months. But the direct cause was reading the Bible with the knowledge that it could just possibly be true. I had done enough investigation to satisfy myself on that point. But, in the end, it was God's active pursuit of me as I was pursuing Him that opened my heart to assent to the truth the Bible contained.
So, I cannot take any credit for my faith. God provided the evidence through His creation of His existence. God provided the historical evidence necessary to conclude that the Bible was reasonably accurate. And it was God's Spirit that whispered and prodded and eventually overwhelmed my natural rejection throughout the process.
If you'd like to explore whether significant faith in the Creator God of the universe is possible, I invite you to begin your investigation today. Make it a 'front-burner' issue. God will reward your efforts, as He did mine.
But this will just be a start. Significant faith entails not only knowledge and assent, it also includes trust and committment. We'll explore those aspects of faith in future blog entries.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Significant Faith - Part 1
American humorist Mark Twain famously defined 'faith' as follows:
"Faith is believing in something you know ain't true."
I've been thinking a lot about faith in recent days. My faith - in a very real sense - has been my foundation through this trial (and many others!). But I think there's a wide misperception - characterized humorously by Mark Twain - about the nature of faith. Or, at least, the faith that the Bible talks about.
We must first distinguish the popular notion of 'blind faith' from the significant faith defined in Scripture:
Hebrews 11:1: "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
Notice that significant faith is grounded in assurance and conviction. These are two words are antithethical to the idea of 'blindness' or taking a 'leap' into what we suspect is untrue. One of my Jewish friends described his faith as, "I have FAITH that the Lakers will win the championship next year. It's not something I KNOW, it's something I hope for." That is the way I think many people consider faith. But if the Bible is true, it is possible to enjoy a faith that goes well beyond fervant wishful thinking. Let's see how.
Significant faith consists of four components: Knowledge, Assent (or Agreement), Trust, and Conviction. I'll consider the first of these, below, then continue on with the others in future blogs.
Knowledge
The faith the Bible talks about is first and foremost fact-based:
Philemon 1:6: "I pray that the fellowship of your faith may become effective through the knowledge of every good thing which is in you for Christ's sake."
In order for faith to be effective, it must be according to what we know. The amount of knowledge necessary to engender significant faith varies from person to person. Some may need objective facts from the area of science or history; others a more personal knowledge through experiencing God directly in their lives or in the lives of those they love. But either way, significant faith is based on facts, and thus cannot be characterized as 'blind.'
Here's an example of what I mean: Several lines of evidence in modern cosmology (the study of the nature of the universe) point to the fact that the physical universe came into existence at a some fixed time in the past. This fact is mathematically necessitated and cannot be denied on scientific grounds (there are a number of physicists who reject it on self-admittedly philosophical grounds). In the early 1960's, residual effects of the 'creation event' (what scientists term "the Big Bang") were observed and measured in the laboratory.
Before the Big Bang was proven, it was possible for scientists (and others) to believe that the physical universe always existed. The need for a Creator was thus comfortably removed and the Biblical account in Genesis could be denied. But with the proof of the Big Bang came along a whole host of philosophical and theological implications, the most significant of which is the idea that if anything has a beginning, it must have a preceeding cause.
So, what preceeded and caused the Big Bang? Physicists have demonstrated - again, through the elegance of mathematics - that what they term "The Singularity" pre-existed the Big Bang. The Singularity is something about which we can say little, except that no physical laws can pertain to it. It is quite literally beyond all physical reality and beyond all possible physical reality. Again, this is not mere speculation; the Singularity is a mathematical necessity to account for the universe we now find ourselves inhabiting. Every experiment ever conducted to prove the Singularity has succeeded; every experiment conducted to disprove it has failed (for more details, see Frank Tipler's The Physics of Christianity).
One of the oldest philosophical truths is: From nothing, nothing comes. That is, if there were nothing prior to the Big Bang, nothing would now exist. But in terms of physical reality, nothing existed prior to the Big Bang! Instead, when we wind the clock back to before the Beginning, what does science tell us we find? Something incomprehensible. Something beyond the bounds of what is even possible for us to know. In other words, in the literal sense of the term, something supernatural.
This fact is a long way from proving that the God 0f the Bible exists. But it is a solid foundation upon which to add other facts to establish His existence beyond reasonable doubt.
The question is: What do we do with such facts? In a recent survey, 40% of leading scientists claim a belief in God (this is roughly the same number reported in a survey conducted in the early 1900s). What about the other 60%? What about you, if you doubt God's existence?
Knowledge is only one component of significant faith. We must add the other components of Assent, Trust, and Committment. But knowledge is the foundation. It belies the notion that 'faith' is blind.
I'll continue discussing Significant Faith in my next blog.
"Faith is believing in something you know ain't true."
I've been thinking a lot about faith in recent days. My faith - in a very real sense - has been my foundation through this trial (and many others!). But I think there's a wide misperception - characterized humorously by Mark Twain - about the nature of faith. Or, at least, the faith that the Bible talks about.
We must first distinguish the popular notion of 'blind faith' from the significant faith defined in Scripture:
Hebrews 11:1: "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
Notice that significant faith is grounded in assurance and conviction. These are two words are antithethical to the idea of 'blindness' or taking a 'leap' into what we suspect is untrue. One of my Jewish friends described his faith as, "I have FAITH that the Lakers will win the championship next year. It's not something I KNOW, it's something I hope for." That is the way I think many people consider faith. But if the Bible is true, it is possible to enjoy a faith that goes well beyond fervant wishful thinking. Let's see how.
Significant faith consists of four components: Knowledge, Assent (or Agreement), Trust, and Conviction. I'll consider the first of these, below, then continue on with the others in future blogs.
Knowledge
The faith the Bible talks about is first and foremost fact-based:
Philemon 1:6: "I pray that the fellowship of your faith may become effective through the knowledge of every good thing which is in you for Christ's sake."
In order for faith to be effective, it must be according to what we know. The amount of knowledge necessary to engender significant faith varies from person to person. Some may need objective facts from the area of science or history; others a more personal knowledge through experiencing God directly in their lives or in the lives of those they love. But either way, significant faith is based on facts, and thus cannot be characterized as 'blind.'
Here's an example of what I mean: Several lines of evidence in modern cosmology (the study of the nature of the universe) point to the fact that the physical universe came into existence at a some fixed time in the past. This fact is mathematically necessitated and cannot be denied on scientific grounds (there are a number of physicists who reject it on self-admittedly philosophical grounds). In the early 1960's, residual effects of the 'creation event' (what scientists term "the Big Bang") were observed and measured in the laboratory.
Before the Big Bang was proven, it was possible for scientists (and others) to believe that the physical universe always existed. The need for a Creator was thus comfortably removed and the Biblical account in Genesis could be denied. But with the proof of the Big Bang came along a whole host of philosophical and theological implications, the most significant of which is the idea that if anything has a beginning, it must have a preceeding cause.
So, what preceeded and caused the Big Bang? Physicists have demonstrated - again, through the elegance of mathematics - that what they term "The Singularity" pre-existed the Big Bang. The Singularity is something about which we can say little, except that no physical laws can pertain to it. It is quite literally beyond all physical reality and beyond all possible physical reality. Again, this is not mere speculation; the Singularity is a mathematical necessity to account for the universe we now find ourselves inhabiting. Every experiment ever conducted to prove the Singularity has succeeded; every experiment conducted to disprove it has failed (for more details, see Frank Tipler's The Physics of Christianity).
One of the oldest philosophical truths is: From nothing, nothing comes. That is, if there were nothing prior to the Big Bang, nothing would now exist. But in terms of physical reality, nothing existed prior to the Big Bang! Instead, when we wind the clock back to before the Beginning, what does science tell us we find? Something incomprehensible. Something beyond the bounds of what is even possible for us to know. In other words, in the literal sense of the term, something supernatural.
This fact is a long way from proving that the God 0f the Bible exists. But it is a solid foundation upon which to add other facts to establish His existence beyond reasonable doubt.
The question is: What do we do with such facts? In a recent survey, 40% of leading scientists claim a belief in God (this is roughly the same number reported in a survey conducted in the early 1900s). What about the other 60%? What about you, if you doubt God's existence?
Knowledge is only one component of significant faith. We must add the other components of Assent, Trust, and Committment. But knowledge is the foundation. It belies the notion that 'faith' is blind.
I'll continue discussing Significant Faith in my next blog.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Father's Day
I'm sitting at home right now, after a very full Father's Day. Since my diagnosis, I've been relishing every aspect of life. Today was one of exceptional relish - from the morning at church (my first time back after my hospital stay), to the beach with friends, to an elegant fondue dinner - planned by my lovely and loving wife, Shirley; accompanied by my children, Caelin, Becca, and Ryan. It simply could not have been a better day! If this is the last Father's Day I will have on earth, it will be the one I cherish the most.
From time to time throughout the day, I've been reflecting on my own father. If you will allow me, I'd like to share some memories of him with you.
He died in 1999, after a long battle with Parkinson's Disease and a host of other illnesses. A few days after he died, I wrote the following words to be read at his funeral service. Some of you reading this knew my father - others may (I hope) glimpse something of him in me. He was and is the finest man I have ever known.
I am sitting in my Dad's favorite recliner chair as I write these words. It makes me feel a little closer to him. My Mom tells me he spent almost the entire last day that he was home in this chair. How I wish I could have spent just a few minutes with him that day, remembering:
Dad, is there a golf tournament on TV today? I remember how you used to sit here, watching golf on TV, marvelling at how well the Pros played. Remember when I was a kid, no more than 12, when you bought me my first set of clubs and taught me to play? The first thing you taught me, before I ever took a club in my hand, was the etiquette of the game - how to mark my ball on the green, who putted first, how to repair my divot, who had 'honors' on the next tee. You taught me that no matter how well or badly I played, I could play with anyone if I followed the etiquette of the game. Not that we didn't try to play our best, and not that we weren't frustrated by that unfortunate slice off the 2nd tee (I remember you saying more than once, "This game will make you crazy, son!"), but at the end of the day, if we'd played by the rules and tried the best we could, it was a good day on the golf course. We had lots of good days, huh, Dad?
Playing by the rules was very important to you, wasn't it, Dad, in every aspect of your life? You were always courteous, always a gentleman in the finest sense of the word. Fairness and honesty were virtues to nourish and celebrate. And honesty started with one's self, didn't it, Dad? Though you weren't one to study literature, every once in awhile, you'd quote Shakespeare: "To thine own self be true." Those weren't just words, or some aphorism to recite at the appropriate place in an idle conversation. It was the way you lived your life in a fundamental and profound way. "If you can't be honest with yourself, " you'd say, "you'll never be honest with anyone else."
You might think that a father for whom playing by the rules and honesty were so important would be overly demanding on a young son. But you weren't that way at all, Dad. You held me to the same high standard you held yourself, but your natural empathy - the essential gentleness and warmth that made it so easy for you to feel what others felt - provided a wonderful counterbalance. You taught me the ideal, but you understood when I fell short. You corrected me when you felt it was necessary, but always with love and encouragement. As I grew to manhood, the correction disappeared, but never the encouragement. You were my biggest fan, Dad. How I will miss those simple words: "That's great, Bob!"
Sitting here with you, Dad, I can see your Bible in the other room. In recent years, you'd read from it aloud as part of your speech therapy. You were never much of a Bible reader before that, Dad, but you were a man of great faith. It gives me tremendous comfort to know that we share a faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and we have in common the great hope of Eternal Life together with Him. I've never heard you voice a doubt about your faith. You approach faith like all other areas in your life - you know the rules, you value the truth, and you have great empathy for those less fortunate than yourself. You have a great sense of the real purpose in life, that is preparation for the life to come. You have prepared very well, I think. In the next life, you won't need to rest in a reclining chair, Dad. You won't need those pills on the table. You won't need to struggle to speak clearly, or labor to walk. In the words of the Prophet, "You will soar on wings of eagles, you will run and not be weary, you will walk and not grow faint."
Sitting here in Dad's chair, I fear the words I've written no more express who my Dad was than the cold arms of this chair express the warmth of his arms when he embraced me.
I could not have asked for a better Dad. My tribute to him will be to live my life more like he lived his. He was and is a fine example, and an inspiration.
Someday, Dad, we will embrace again, joined by our family and friends, enfolded in the arms of our Lord and our God. Until then, Dad, I'll miss you. I'll love you, always. I am blessed to have such memories as these.
From time to time throughout the day, I've been reflecting on my own father. If you will allow me, I'd like to share some memories of him with you.
He died in 1999, after a long battle with Parkinson's Disease and a host of other illnesses. A few days after he died, I wrote the following words to be read at his funeral service. Some of you reading this knew my father - others may (I hope) glimpse something of him in me. He was and is the finest man I have ever known.
Memories of My Father
I am sitting in my Dad's favorite recliner chair as I write these words. It makes me feel a little closer to him. My Mom tells me he spent almost the entire last day that he was home in this chair. How I wish I could have spent just a few minutes with him that day, remembering:
Dad, is there a golf tournament on TV today? I remember how you used to sit here, watching golf on TV, marvelling at how well the Pros played. Remember when I was a kid, no more than 12, when you bought me my first set of clubs and taught me to play? The first thing you taught me, before I ever took a club in my hand, was the etiquette of the game - how to mark my ball on the green, who putted first, how to repair my divot, who had 'honors' on the next tee. You taught me that no matter how well or badly I played, I could play with anyone if I followed the etiquette of the game. Not that we didn't try to play our best, and not that we weren't frustrated by that unfortunate slice off the 2nd tee (I remember you saying more than once, "This game will make you crazy, son!"), but at the end of the day, if we'd played by the rules and tried the best we could, it was a good day on the golf course. We had lots of good days, huh, Dad?
Playing by the rules was very important to you, wasn't it, Dad, in every aspect of your life? You were always courteous, always a gentleman in the finest sense of the word. Fairness and honesty were virtues to nourish and celebrate. And honesty started with one's self, didn't it, Dad? Though you weren't one to study literature, every once in awhile, you'd quote Shakespeare: "To thine own self be true." Those weren't just words, or some aphorism to recite at the appropriate place in an idle conversation. It was the way you lived your life in a fundamental and profound way. "If you can't be honest with yourself, " you'd say, "you'll never be honest with anyone else."
You might think that a father for whom playing by the rules and honesty were so important would be overly demanding on a young son. But you weren't that way at all, Dad. You held me to the same high standard you held yourself, but your natural empathy - the essential gentleness and warmth that made it so easy for you to feel what others felt - provided a wonderful counterbalance. You taught me the ideal, but you understood when I fell short. You corrected me when you felt it was necessary, but always with love and encouragement. As I grew to manhood, the correction disappeared, but never the encouragement. You were my biggest fan, Dad. How I will miss those simple words: "That's great, Bob!"
Sitting here with you, Dad, I can see your Bible in the other room. In recent years, you'd read from it aloud as part of your speech therapy. You were never much of a Bible reader before that, Dad, but you were a man of great faith. It gives me tremendous comfort to know that we share a faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and we have in common the great hope of Eternal Life together with Him. I've never heard you voice a doubt about your faith. You approach faith like all other areas in your life - you know the rules, you value the truth, and you have great empathy for those less fortunate than yourself. You have a great sense of the real purpose in life, that is preparation for the life to come. You have prepared very well, I think. In the next life, you won't need to rest in a reclining chair, Dad. You won't need those pills on the table. You won't need to struggle to speak clearly, or labor to walk. In the words of the Prophet, "You will soar on wings of eagles, you will run and not be weary, you will walk and not grow faint."
Sitting here in Dad's chair, I fear the words I've written no more express who my Dad was than the cold arms of this chair express the warmth of his arms when he embraced me.
I could not have asked for a better Dad. My tribute to him will be to live my life more like he lived his. He was and is a fine example, and an inspiration.
Someday, Dad, we will embrace again, joined by our family and friends, enfolded in the arms of our Lord and our God. Until then, Dad, I'll miss you. I'll love you, always. I am blessed to have such memories as these.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
The Waiting
One of my favorite rock albums of the 1980's (my older readers will remember 'albums'!) was Tom Petty's The Waiting. The lyrics of the title cut run:
"The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part."
Not great poetry, perhaps, but it perfectly reflects my experience, right now. I feel fine. I'm on meds to control possible siezures and swelling of the tumor (both of which keep me out of the driver's seat of my car, other than short trips, not on the freeway). I have some pain pills for headaches I've not needed in recent days.
I'm not scheduled for surgery for 2 1/2 weeks (July 3). I have to undergo some tests prior to surgery, but with one exception, I don't know - yet - when these will occur.
So, all I can do is wait.
I have to say, there is a certain anxiety, having major surgery - on my BRAIN, no less! - hanging over me like this. I wish the surgery could have been scheduled weeks sooner. But, I also know that events are all happening for a reason - that God has providentially arranged things for my good, no matter how this all ultimately works out.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says: "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?" (Matthew 6:27).
I'm clinging to that verse, right now. The waiting IS the hardest part - but I know that God is continuing to teach me, growing me through all aspects of this experience; growing me up into the man He knows I can be.
"The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part."
Not great poetry, perhaps, but it perfectly reflects my experience, right now. I feel fine. I'm on meds to control possible siezures and swelling of the tumor (both of which keep me out of the driver's seat of my car, other than short trips, not on the freeway). I have some pain pills for headaches I've not needed in recent days.
I'm not scheduled for surgery for 2 1/2 weeks (July 3). I have to undergo some tests prior to surgery, but with one exception, I don't know - yet - when these will occur.
So, all I can do is wait.
I have to say, there is a certain anxiety, having major surgery - on my BRAIN, no less! - hanging over me like this. I wish the surgery could have been scheduled weeks sooner. But, I also know that events are all happening for a reason - that God has providentially arranged things for my good, no matter how this all ultimately works out.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says: "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?" (Matthew 6:27).
I'm clinging to that verse, right now. The waiting IS the hardest part - but I know that God is continuing to teach me, growing me through all aspects of this experience; growing me up into the man He knows I can be.
Friday, June 15, 2007
The Power of Prayer
We've talked a lot about prayer on this blog. I've asked for your prayers - you've told me you're praying for me (even some of you who don't believe in a Personal God!). And I've detailed some specific answers to prayer I've experienced.
But why do we pray? If God is in control of all things - as I believe the Bible teaches - isn't He going to do whatever He wants, anyway, despite our prayers? Can our prayers actually influence God in some way?
I can't pretend to have anything like a definitive answer. Ultimately, God's ways are far beyond our ways, and it's simply not possible for finite beings to understand how an infinite Being operates within His creation, or how He interacts with His children.
But the Bible does provide some clues for us to at least begin to approach the matter. First, the Bible is clear: God wants us to pray to Him!
Psalm 32:6: "Let everyone who is godly pray to You."
1 Thess 5:17: "Pray without ceasing."
James 5:14: "Is anyone among you sick? Then he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him..."
Indeed, James 5:16 tells us that the prayers of a righteous man "avails much."
Second, while God will surely accomplish His purposes, He is not a distant tyrant, ordaining whatever happens from afar. Instead, He is intimately involved in our daily lives, constantly WORKING all things according to the council of His will (Ephesians 1:11). The verb "working" implies an active, involved RELATIONSHIP with the created world, and specifically with each of us - His children.
So, why do we pray when God will accomplish what He wants anyway? A friend of mine shared this story with me a few years ago, and I think it a perfect illustration. My friend - like me - has a young son. My friend would work on projects in his garage on weekends, and sometimes, his little son would come and ask to help. My friend knew that it would be easier and faster if he denied his son's request. He'd do a better job on his own. But, because he loves his son, he wanted to include his son in the project. "Sure! Let me show you how to use this tool..."
My friend's purpose was to complete the project. He could have done so with or without the participation of his son. He chose to include his son in the process. His purpose was still achieved - just not in the way it would have been, had his son not offered to help. But the process of working with his son built up their relationship, and the project - in a very real sense - reflected both the work of son and father.
Ultimately, prayer is not for God - it's for us. It puts us in the proper relationship to God - with us seeking His guidance, help, strength, healing, wisdom. Ultimately, as our relationship with God grows, He will change our desires. We will grow out of selfishness and self-centerdness and focus more on Eternal Realities - we will end up wanting exactly what He wants, for the same reasons He wants them:
Psalm 37:4: "Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart."
So, friends, continue to pray - not just for me, but for every aspect of your lives. If you don't know God in a personal way, pray that He will reveal Himself to you profoundly. He is not far from any of us! (Acts 17:27).
But why do we pray? If God is in control of all things - as I believe the Bible teaches - isn't He going to do whatever He wants, anyway, despite our prayers? Can our prayers actually influence God in some way?
I can't pretend to have anything like a definitive answer. Ultimately, God's ways are far beyond our ways, and it's simply not possible for finite beings to understand how an infinite Being operates within His creation, or how He interacts with His children.
But the Bible does provide some clues for us to at least begin to approach the matter. First, the Bible is clear: God wants us to pray to Him!
Psalm 32:6: "Let everyone who is godly pray to You."
1 Thess 5:17: "Pray without ceasing."
James 5:14: "Is anyone among you sick? Then he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him..."
Indeed, James 5:16 tells us that the prayers of a righteous man "avails much."
Second, while God will surely accomplish His purposes, He is not a distant tyrant, ordaining whatever happens from afar. Instead, He is intimately involved in our daily lives, constantly WORKING all things according to the council of His will (Ephesians 1:11). The verb "working" implies an active, involved RELATIONSHIP with the created world, and specifically with each of us - His children.
So, why do we pray when God will accomplish what He wants anyway? A friend of mine shared this story with me a few years ago, and I think it a perfect illustration. My friend - like me - has a young son. My friend would work on projects in his garage on weekends, and sometimes, his little son would come and ask to help. My friend knew that it would be easier and faster if he denied his son's request. He'd do a better job on his own. But, because he loves his son, he wanted to include his son in the project. "Sure! Let me show you how to use this tool..."
My friend's purpose was to complete the project. He could have done so with or without the participation of his son. He chose to include his son in the process. His purpose was still achieved - just not in the way it would have been, had his son not offered to help. But the process of working with his son built up their relationship, and the project - in a very real sense - reflected both the work of son and father.
Ultimately, prayer is not for God - it's for us. It puts us in the proper relationship to God - with us seeking His guidance, help, strength, healing, wisdom. Ultimately, as our relationship with God grows, He will change our desires. We will grow out of selfishness and self-centerdness and focus more on Eternal Realities - we will end up wanting exactly what He wants, for the same reasons He wants them:
Psalm 37:4: "Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart."
So, friends, continue to pray - not just for me, but for every aspect of your lives. If you don't know God in a personal way, pray that He will reveal Himself to you profoundly. He is not far from any of us! (Acts 17:27).
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Why Me? Why Now?
I know that many of you reading this blog don't believe in God - or if you do, "God" is a kind-of impersonal creative force behind the physical universe in some way, but not actively involved in its day-to-day activities.
Those of you who are fellow Christians - or are devout Jews - know that the God revealed in the Bible is very Personal, Loving, and Involved. He is a God of relationships - zealously seeking fellowship with His creatures. But a true loving relationship cannot be coerced; so God has created us with the capacity to freely love Him - or reject Him.
If one doubts God's existence - or sees Him in a more Deistic way - the "why" questions can be brushed aside. They can be dismissed as 'bad luck' or some random act with no Divine significance.
But what about a person of Faith? Can I honestly believe that God somehow intends for my cancer to be a good thing? That He has a purpose behind it? And if so, can I understand it? Is it right to ask Him for an explanation?
As a Christian, the yardstick by which I measure Truth is the Bible. And there's a book in the Bible that specifically addresses the "why" questions: The book of Job. At the end, God confronts Job and asks him a series of rhetorical questions, that basically point to the truth that God's ways are beyond our ways. He created us; He created the world. He is in charge. We should not ask "why" - we have no right to ask such questions. Rather, we should ask, "what would you have me do in this situation? What do you want me to learn?"
There are other passages in Scripture that point to God's benevolent care for His children. Romans 8:28: "We know that God works all things for the good for those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose." I've been meditating on this verse a lot, recently. It calls me to trust that God's purposes - even in my cancer - are intended by Him for my good. I don't understand exactly how that can be, but I think I've gained some insights I'd like to share.
First, I've been praying Mark 9:24 for several months: "Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief." It has been an appeal for God to increase my faith. While my faith has never waivered - and I've certainly never regretted my committment to Christ (see my testimony, here), I have doubts and uncertainties, from time to time. I've known people of great faith, and I want to be more like them. I want to feel a personal relationship with God on a deeper level. It is, afterall, the most important relationship - by far - we'll ever have!
So, when this happened, I know that - in a huge way - God was presenting me with an opportunity to grow in faith. During those first moments two Sundays ago when I temporarily lost the ability to speak, I knew something was very wrong - that I could be dying. As facts began to emerge, and I learned that I have cancer, the possiblity of death - maybe not right away, but soon - became a reality. And the biggest fact staring me in the face was: I'm not in charge! Every aspect of my existence was immediately thrown into focus: It's all in God's Hands.
Coming to that realization - not merely "head" knowledge but a true "heart" knowledge - was a great comfort to me. The God revealed in the Bible is perfect in every way. What better Person to be in charge?
Another lesson I think God is teaching me is strongly related to all this: Humility. I've always taken great pride in my intellect - in my articulateness. I didn't need to be the 'sharpest knife in the drawer,' but I was always one of them. I remember my mother telling me how proud she was that I was attending graduate school. "No one will ever be able to take your education away from you!" Well, Mom was right about alot of things, but wrong on that point: Had God wanted, He could have taken my intellect from me.
I've been reflecting on the last Sunday School lesson I was able to finish, on John 3:25-30. In this passage, John the Baptist's disciples come to him and complain that Jesus is baptizing more people than they are. John's response: "A man can receive nothing unless it is given him from Heaven."
The truth of the matter is that I did absolutely nothing to deserve the mind I've got. It was a gift from God. "God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6). I know that one lesson God is teaching me is humility. Pride is nothing more than idolatry - the substitution of Self for God.
So, is God working all things - even THIS thing - for my good? Yes, I believe that He is. I'm not going down the "why" path anymore. I'm asking, "what would You have me do?"
For those of you who have "your own" concept of God, a gentle warning: That's idolatry, too. You have made a God to suit yourself. I'm not saying that God will teach you the same lesson He's teaching me in the same way - no, it's a far more important issue than that. Your relationship with God will have Eternal consequences. Please, give it some thought this week, and feel free to ask me any questions you'd like.
Those of you who are fellow Christians - or are devout Jews - know that the God revealed in the Bible is very Personal, Loving, and Involved. He is a God of relationships - zealously seeking fellowship with His creatures. But a true loving relationship cannot be coerced; so God has created us with the capacity to freely love Him - or reject Him.
If one doubts God's existence - or sees Him in a more Deistic way - the "why" questions can be brushed aside. They can be dismissed as 'bad luck' or some random act with no Divine significance.
But what about a person of Faith? Can I honestly believe that God somehow intends for my cancer to be a good thing? That He has a purpose behind it? And if so, can I understand it? Is it right to ask Him for an explanation?
As a Christian, the yardstick by which I measure Truth is the Bible. And there's a book in the Bible that specifically addresses the "why" questions: The book of Job. At the end, God confronts Job and asks him a series of rhetorical questions, that basically point to the truth that God's ways are beyond our ways. He created us; He created the world. He is in charge. We should not ask "why" - we have no right to ask such questions. Rather, we should ask, "what would you have me do in this situation? What do you want me to learn?"
There are other passages in Scripture that point to God's benevolent care for His children. Romans 8:28: "We know that God works all things for the good for those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose." I've been meditating on this verse a lot, recently. It calls me to trust that God's purposes - even in my cancer - are intended by Him for my good. I don't understand exactly how that can be, but I think I've gained some insights I'd like to share.
First, I've been praying Mark 9:24 for several months: "Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief." It has been an appeal for God to increase my faith. While my faith has never waivered - and I've certainly never regretted my committment to Christ (see my testimony, here), I have doubts and uncertainties, from time to time. I've known people of great faith, and I want to be more like them. I want to feel a personal relationship with God on a deeper level. It is, afterall, the most important relationship - by far - we'll ever have!
So, when this happened, I know that - in a huge way - God was presenting me with an opportunity to grow in faith. During those first moments two Sundays ago when I temporarily lost the ability to speak, I knew something was very wrong - that I could be dying. As facts began to emerge, and I learned that I have cancer, the possiblity of death - maybe not right away, but soon - became a reality. And the biggest fact staring me in the face was: I'm not in charge! Every aspect of my existence was immediately thrown into focus: It's all in God's Hands.
Coming to that realization - not merely "head" knowledge but a true "heart" knowledge - was a great comfort to me. The God revealed in the Bible is perfect in every way. What better Person to be in charge?
Another lesson I think God is teaching me is strongly related to all this: Humility. I've always taken great pride in my intellect - in my articulateness. I didn't need to be the 'sharpest knife in the drawer,' but I was always one of them. I remember my mother telling me how proud she was that I was attending graduate school. "No one will ever be able to take your education away from you!" Well, Mom was right about alot of things, but wrong on that point: Had God wanted, He could have taken my intellect from me.
I've been reflecting on the last Sunday School lesson I was able to finish, on John 3:25-30. In this passage, John the Baptist's disciples come to him and complain that Jesus is baptizing more people than they are. John's response: "A man can receive nothing unless it is given him from Heaven."
The truth of the matter is that I did absolutely nothing to deserve the mind I've got. It was a gift from God. "God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6). I know that one lesson God is teaching me is humility. Pride is nothing more than idolatry - the substitution of Self for God.
So, is God working all things - even THIS thing - for my good? Yes, I believe that He is. I'm not going down the "why" path anymore. I'm asking, "what would You have me do?"
For those of you who have "your own" concept of God, a gentle warning: That's idolatry, too. You have made a God to suit yourself. I'm not saying that God will teach you the same lesson He's teaching me in the same way - no, it's a far more important issue than that. Your relationship with God will have Eternal consequences. Please, give it some thought this week, and feel free to ask me any questions you'd like.
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