Friday, September 28, 2007

So, Where's God in All This?

I'm going to take a quick break from my recollections for some theological/philsophical ramblings.

I have to confess that immediately after the surgery - even my brain surgery - God really didn't enter my mind. At least, not directly. I remember trying to pray a few times, but it was so hard to focus.

But it was my embolism that really challenged my faith. It was hard to reconcile my utter lack of memories with anything spiritual. But soon I realized - because of what I was told - that there were a number of things I *should* have remembered because I was *conscious* at the time. The fact I had lost so many memories was somehow a comfort. Not only memories when I was apparently awake and responsive inside the MRI during the repair of my (two?) embolisms, but also the complete loss of memory (save for some notable exceptions) during my "awake" time during my brain surgery.

I said in an earlier blog entry that I've always been fascinated by the blend of physical and non-physical (brain vs mind vs soul). Now that I have some distance on this experience, I can give you my thoughts on it.

I am still a 'dualist.' That is, I still believe there is a separation between the soul (in the Jewish/Christian sense) and the body. The fact that I can't remember certain events is simply a function of my brain's capacity to retain pertinent information. It exists (or rather *doesn't* exist) purely in the physical realm. Therefore, there is really no good reason that I can see for abandoning my faith in a spiritual realm - and specifically in a Christian realm.

As the weeks went by, my faith became even stronger than before. It's still difficult for me to focus in my prayers. My mind wanders, seemingly with a 'mind of it's own!' But it's slowly improving.

The bottom line is this: If faith has not been a "front burner" issue for you, I encourage you to make it one, right now! I've never regretted my decision for Christ, and I'll bet you won't, either!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Amen Bob. I want you know that my wife and I have been thinking and praying about faith and healing lately because she is scheduled to have her gall bladder removed tomorrow. (Oct. 4th) Now I know this is no where near the severity of God what has challenged you with, but your words, and all that God has done from the result of this challenge and your blog has helped both of us.