What the Radiologist and the Oncologist Had to Say

I saw two doctors yesterday: The Radiologist and the Oncologist. The Radiologist asked me where I'd gotten my most recent MRI. I told him at UCLA. "Fine," he said, "I want you to go back there in 4-6 weeks for another scan." So, it's back to Bruin-country! I don't have all the details worked out, yet, but I'm trying for the week of December 1. Dr. Liau will meet with me afterwards (probably on the same day) to review the scans. Please, PLEASE, pray that the scans don't show anything to be concerned about.

Then, it was over to the Oncologist. This is the doctor that's overseeing my treatments - both chemo and radiation. Radiation has been finished, now, for two weeks. I mentioned that, until the last couple days, I'd been suffering a lot of fatigue. "I'm surprised that it only came on after the treatments had stopped." "That's very common with brain radiation - and we don't really know why." He said I could hold off on resuming the chemo treatments for a couple more days.

"I want you 'clean' before going into the main chemo regimen. This will isolate the side-effects of the chemo and make it easier to adjust to them, if necessary."

So, as of this moment, I'm scheduled to resume 5 days of chemo next Wednesday. Again, if you would, please pray that I'll tolerate the treatments with minimal (or no!) side-effects.

Rehab @ Home

I FINALLY feel up to blogging again! Praise God! Here's a brief update on my progress:

For the past 7 weeks or so, I've been rehab-ing at home. First, I had two folks come to the house, but after 2-3 weeks, I started going to an outpatient facility. About that time, I put away the walker, then the cane. Some further movement returned - especially in my right ankle. This motion is necessary for driving.

Speaking of which, I ventured out of the driveway and left the comfortable confines of my block just yesterday. I drove to the local store and bought a subway sandwich (which was fabulous, BTW). My driving is cautious, but I'm sure I can expect steady progress there, too.

Most importantly, I FEEL pretty good. I still get fatigued, but the fatigue is manageable, and I recover more quickly than before.

That improvement MAY be short-lived, though. I see my oncologist this afternoon, and will find out the details of my resumed chemo treatments. Please pray that I tolerate the treatments with little or no side-effects.

Exhausted!

I completed radiation last Thursday, but have been really tired ever since. I'm not sure if the fatigue is the result of radiation being finished, or the cumulative effects of chemo. Fortunately, I get a two-week break from the chemo treatments, starting tonight. I'm hopeful I'll feel more like blogging in a few days.

When my chemo treatments resume, the dose will be more than doubled, but it's only 5 days per month! I don't really know what to expect with the increased dosage. If this is as bad as it gets, I can handle it!

Acute Rehab

They transferred me via ambulance to the Acute Rehab center that's closer to where I live. The first thing I noticed when I got there was that I had a private room. This room would be my 'home-away-from-home' for the better part of the next month.

Over the next few days, the staff came and introduced themselves. There was Mariane, Ngozie, and Sol who alternated days; Mary, Navon, and Regina at night. Physical Therapy was provided twice a day by Anne, Occupational Therapy twice a day by Julie. On weekends, they cut the sessions down to once a day, and these were provided by a mix of various folks.

Stacey handled speech, three times a week.

I have to continue to give "props" to my wife and kids - they were there day-in and day-out, cheering me on.

I made significant progress while there. The use of my right arm and leg returned - not all at once, but gradually. I'm still not 100%, but I'm a lot closer due to my time in rehab.

A Regular Room

They finally let me out of the TCU and transferred me to a regular room for a few days. I was in a room with a man who was undergoing chemo. From the sound of it, he wasn't having a very pleasant experience. He was getting the medicine intraveneously, and he was pretty sick. I didn't get much of a chance to share with him, but I've been periodically praying for him.

It makes me glad that when they started my chemo regimen, it was in pill-form, and the side-effects (nausea) could be controlled with a wonderful drug called Zofran.

My family continued to be able to visit me, which meant so very much to me. I also began working with some therapists (again). After two days, they sent me off to acute rehab.

Busy Day Today!

I awoke this morning, afraid that it was going to be like the previous two: Little sleep, lots of fatigue. They told me there'd be days like these, but they usually don't happen on weekends, when I get a break from radiation.

But slowly, I gained strength. I ended up showering and shaving (yes, there are days I don't feel like doing one or both of those), going to radiation, then on to physical therapy, followed by some exercises at home, and I topped off the day by walking all the way around the block for the first time since the surgery!

I'm a little bit tired as I write this - but it's a good kind of tired!

So, Where's God in All This?

I'm going to take a quick break from my recollections for some theological/philsophical ramblings.

I have to confess that immediately after the surgery - even my brain surgery - God really didn't enter my mind. At least, not directly. I remember trying to pray a few times, but it was so hard to focus.

But it was my embolism that really challenged my faith. It was hard to reconcile my utter lack of memories with anything spiritual. But soon I realized - because of what I was told - that there were a number of things I *should* have remembered because I was *conscious* at the time. The fact I had lost so many memories was somehow a comfort. Not only memories when I was apparently awake and responsive inside the MRI during the repair of my (two?) embolisms, but also the complete loss of memory (save for some notable exceptions) during my "awake" time during my brain surgery.

I said in an earlier blog entry that I've always been fascinated by the blend of physical and non-physical (brain vs mind vs soul). Now that I have some distance on this experience, I can give you my thoughts on it.

I am still a 'dualist.' That is, I still believe there is a separation between the soul (in the Jewish/Christian sense) and the body. The fact that I can't remember certain events is simply a function of my brain's capacity to retain pertinent information. It exists (or rather *doesn't* exist) purely in the physical realm. Therefore, there is really no good reason that I can see for abandoning my faith in a spiritual realm - and specifically in a Christian realm.

As the weeks went by, my faith became even stronger than before. It's still difficult for me to focus in my prayers. My mind wanders, seemingly with a 'mind of it's own!' But it's slowly improving.

The bottom line is this: If faith has not been a "front burner" issue for you, I encourage you to make it one, right now! I've never regretted my decision for Christ, and I'll bet you won't, either!